A few prompts back, our friend over at dVerse Poets Pub, Kanzen Sakura (Toni Spencer) introduced us to another form, the Bussokusekika. It is a Japanese poetic form that follows the rules of tanka, except there are six lines with three seven syllable lines that end the poem for a 5-7-5-7-7-7 syllable count. Today, we’ll take a shot at the Bussokusekika.
This is a link to Toni’s blog with her example of this form!
https://kanzensakura.wordpress.com/2016/08/30/dverse-poetics-new-moon/
SARA’S ATTEMPT:
DAWN FOG
dense gray fog at dawn
curtain masks outside windows
nothing can be seen
as I stand enjoying haze
a glimmer of light pokes through
curtain rises – trees appear
© Sara McNulty – 2016
WALT’S ATTEMPT:
SUNLIGHT SONG
she sings like sunlight –
softly touching all it sees
her song – a blessing
meant to comfort all who hear
beauty is her melody
tender music is her soul
© Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016
POETIC BLOOMINGS 
Responses
Miracles break forth
as we observe golden rule
Forgiveness opens
reconciliation doors
Families are soon restored
miracles of mended hearts
I like the way this starts and ends with miracles.
I agree with Bill. The opening and closing of your poem with the word “miracles” is quite effective.
I have to third that 🙂
Love your miracles…
Housework Neglected
Crumbs crunch underfoot
Smudges cover kitchen floor
Dirt and dust taunt me
I chose to do other things
But now I want nothing more
Than to see sparkle and shine
Connie, were you in my house?! 😉
I relate to every line in this poem…sigh.
Sounds like a good time to go out and look at a lake. Big smiles here.
Connie, like Debi, you are quite adept at making sounds work for you!
I want to see it… I just don’t want to do it.
thanks all
Lonely Moon
Like a smile it hangs
cocked crookedly in the sky.
Courageously tries
to endure this waning phase,
like me, waiting till you’re home
and my arms are full again.
Stunning!
I was going to pick a favorite line, thinking it would certainly be the first two…
but then the last four changed my mind!
Big Smile Janet
Lovely, and spot on.
I WISH, I PRAY
Looking up at night
I see my favorite star
waiting in the sky
for me to make my one wish:
that everyone will find God
Who made all heaven and earth.
Amen! amen.
I wish on that star, too
Heartfelt wish becomes a prayer. Thanks Sal for this gem.
Being an excellent poet, you know well how to maximize sound placement: the hard c’s, the gentle w’s.
Thanks Sal
This is truly beautiful, Debi! Amazing images.
To title or not to title? Oh, well…
FIRST LOVE
We were teen-agers
when we exchanged our first kiss.
Our parents were stunned;
horrified, in fact, but they
did not comprehend that we
got our braces entangled.
oh, the memories;-) thanks for the chuckles.
I love to see humor in poems, something folks often steer clear of as though making one laugh would offend those who think poetry has no place for it.
Haha and ouch
chuckle, chuckle
Adorable — thanks for the smile…
Sara, Your poem as just like being there! I could feel the fog dissipate in the last line. Beautiful.
I agree!
Walt, your piece made think of Venus, the morning and evening star, and the goddess.
Walt, I read then re-read your poem.
Such a delightful read. Esp. loved this line ‘Beauty is her melody’.
kindify the world
has become my heartfelt plea
give cotton candy
compliments to replace the
sarcastic pepper spray words
that bombard the media
Harvest-hued
Dawn, September-hued
Hints at heaven-mirrored sweeps
Deeps filled with charred gold
Beneath velvet folds of mist
Earth, a table harvest-heaped
Man, a monger mercy-kissed
Grapples with Hope’s ling’ring Weight
© Janet Martin
This is a beautifully stated truth
Oh, yes.
Superb painting Janet, as it brought tears to my eyes.
Sara, I love the fog. I’ve seen this scene just as you describe it.
Walt, all those lovely esses… how they soften the sun’s song
Walt, such a tender tribute. Impressive.
LOVE’S A MAGIC WAND
Love is not a sword
that pierces the hearts of two
making them both bleed,
but rather a magic wand
and a sprinkle of red dust
to render the two as one.
Spot on!
Thank you Walt for honoring this ancient Japanese poetic form, which name means “footprint of Buddha”, found on a stone outside an ancient Japanese temple. Here is my offering for today for you. the tanka has no uppercase letters, no punctuation except for the short aspirated dash, and the the 4th line acts as a pivot line separating the upper from the lower lines. Thus, it follows the rules for tanka! Hope you all enjoyed this form. I certainly enjoyed reading all the offerings!
in this cathedral
of trees preparing for sleep –
last dreams of summer –
light filters through the leaves –
gentle golden lullaby
spring will soon return – now sleep
Thanks again, Toni. Your exploration into the Japanese forms is invaluable. I love the “translation” of the name – “footprint of Buddha”.
I do too. It makes it super special.
This marvellous piece highlights why I have so much trouble with haiku and tanka, or any forms that paint pictures without titles to clue the reader.
I’m glad you liked. You know, you don’t really need a title. Sometimes titles can be so deceptive and get you off on a wrong mind thought about a poem. That’s why even regular poems I have a hard time giving them a title. I want them to live on their own.
Perfect!
Walt and Sara, I am not sure how to send my chapbook and the front page rules, etc for the july prompts on summer. I tried to find it in archives as I am sure you have addressed it before I came back. Please, could you post again the way you want the chapbook compiled. Thanks so much.
The email address is poeticbloomings@yahoo.com. Send the chapbook and cover as attachments, and we should be good!
IN ITS SHADOW
mountain mist surrounds
mountain peaks covered in snow
reflected on lake
the majesty of nature
erupting in the distance
a crane rests in its shadow
This might as well be a painting on an easel. Superb.
What William says — truly superb in images and the ways it fit the form.
Dawn
‘Tis another dawn
Unlike any other dawn
Day has been turned on
Last night is forever gone
Terminated by the dawn
Another chance to move on
© Earl Parsons
I love the essential hopefulness of this piece.
If Only
Blessings await us
More than we can imagine
Some earthly rewards
Many stored up in Heaven
God’s rewards are plentiful
If only we would believe
© Earl Parsons
A fun form. Thanks.
Bare Bones
Yesterday’s calm slipped
into a blind feral wind,
naked and ruthless,
a murdered bruising day for
wasps drunk on whiffs of apple
with bare bones that gores the sky.
Wonderful, especially, for me, “feral wind.”
Thanks, William. 😀
Perfect way to describe “Yesterday’s calm slipped.” Sometimes that is exactly how it happens!
Beautiful images — like a painting with words.
BASE BALL’S PRIME TIME
Once upon a time
a game that suspended time
was played all the time
on vacant lots and sandlots
by boys who had lots of time
for the national pastime.
Love the different meanings of time in your lines, William!
Glad I took TIME to read your poem. I like trips down memory lane. Good job, Bill.
SUMMER’S END
still sun-dazed I stre-e-e-tch
the final days of summer −
clinging onto light
I ignore the calendar
that warns of cold days ahead.
~ Nurit Israeli