You’re probably thinking to yourself: “NOT ANOTHER JAPANESE SHORT FORM???”
Sure, why not. Today we’re presenting the RYŪKA.
The RYŪKA is an untitled poem usually consisting of four units
(often treated as separate stand alone lines when romanized or translated)
standardly with the following pattern of onji (sounds, syllables):
8-8-8-6,
where as, the Japanese Tanka is 5-7-5-7-7.
There are other variations of Ryūka such as
7-5-8-6 or
5-5-8-6 or
longer Ryūka with 8-8-8-8-8-8-8…-6.
SARA’S SELECTION: (three different examples):
Petals of apricot roses
texture of velvet puppy ears
fragrance floats, scents air around you
spring turning to summer
(8/8/8/6)
Stormy blue ocean, whitecaps
air is thick with salt
seagulls squawk, flapping wings fill sky
thunder blasts warning
(7/5/8/6)
Neon whizzes past
green, blue, and ruby
hummingbirds discover feeder
needled beaks poke nectar
(5/5/8/6)
###
WALTER’S WORDS (three separate Ryūka):
Witness the beauty of nature
in boundless glory we behold
created to be cherished; loved
worshiped above all else
in boundless glory we behold
created to be cherished; loved
worshiped above all else
(8,8,8,6)
in the clearing herons land
long flight has ended
rest has come to wings of passion
soon to resume journey
(7, 5,8,6)
serenity lives
beneath the bright sun
lovers find strength in her warmth; light
caresses touch their hearts
(5,5,8,6)
POETIC BLOOMINGS 
Responses
I swam the sparkled path of swans
their ripples, my wrinkles, so deep
till sorrow pulled me underneath
my wings no longer fly.
Interesting thoughts that make me do added thoughts. “my wings no longer fly” is very expressive.
the emotion here is spell-binding. wow!
Now, that’s a nice ryuka! And remember you never stop being a swan here! So your wings no longer fly. I’ll send a shuttle!
What beautiful imagery here. Emotional piece.
Wonderful imagery!
absolutely exquisite 🙂
So lovely and emotive.
“…ripples…wrinkles…deep…sorrow…”. Your ryuka turned emotion inside out. Loved it.
I am pulled under by your sadness which means your words have done their job.
Love your opening line.
clouds float in otherwise blue sky
Sun hides behind the moving clouds
Seagulls dive for scurrying crabs
Beach combers amble on.
a-a-ah, wish I was one of those beach-combers. This poem is a painting! beautiful.
Thank you for the special comment, my artistic soul likes the idea of a ‘painting’
I’ll have what you’re having, Marjory! An idyllic day for sure!
Come on out West and enjoy. 🙂
I wish to be an ambling beach comber; where do I sign up?
Line forms behind me!
All amblers welcome. 🙂 Thank you for the nice comments.
” beach combers amble on… ” lovely
Thank you Pearl
I can completely envision this scene. Nicely painted!
Thank you Marie – I like the idea of a painting. 🙂
Marjory, SO perfectly written as if you were seeing thru my eyes… I am at Myrtle Beach SC and its been a cloudy day. Uncanny. Loved your ryuka.
Thank you, the world over holds connected seas and oceans, so I guess we were together. 🙂
Others have already captured the first thing I thought when I read this: it’s a painting! Nicely done!
Thank you, painting with pen. Runs (sometimes) with my paint brush. 🙂
Makes me sorry I’m so far from the ocean.
Walt & Sara, Thank you for the fun form and the wonderful examples. Was not sure how to go ’til I read yours. 🙂 Will have to try the other variations later.
agreed!
Never a problem in offering these examples. We learn from each other. And it’s rather new to us as well, so we’ll take advantage of the practice!
Thanks, Marjory, our pleasure.
Thank you for an enormously fun poetic form. I didn’t know about this one, and although it seems slightly nude without a title, I do think I’ll try more of these. Possibly adding a title – just as I feel slightly nude without wearing a belt.
M.
++
The sky is too small for thunder
The trees are too heavy from leaves
Wind blows, and rain falls in a fist
There’s a spot on the sun
++
I’m not sure which I enjoyed more…your opening comments or your poem. Both require a re-read. delightful!
Must agree with Janet…. 🙂
Love the opening line – so real.
I’m sure if you wrote a string of ryuka (in whatever configuration you choose) a title would be acceptable. We’re playing with the form and its style. No one’s ever gotten thrown out of the garden for being innovative! 😉
I shall play. Possibly tomorrow, as I’ll have some free time on my hands.
I love the image of rain falling in a fist!
We’re had some dramatic weather lately. 🙂
Wow. Love this! “The sky is too small for thunder” … wow ..
Thank you! 😀
Much like weather in South Texas these days! Nicely captured. And…yes, I have a difficult time, as well, when writing without titles! So I’m in good company! 🙂
😀
I enjoy the word picture in each line. Thanks.
Misky, your ryuka is full of those beautiful ‘invisible’ images that can only be seen in the mind. Love this.
Love rain falls in a fist
Taking a drive in my home town
Spied rusty shell of red sports car
Once the envy of all students
Value more the unseen
That is so true, Connie. Value is overrated in material things. The intangibles carry the highest return! Nicely done!
Next poem could possibly be about the unseen. Lovely.
Oh how many of us can related in one form or other. Excellent!
This brings back memories–and a truth we don’t often think about when we’re in high school. Thanks.
Brings to mind a certain Red VW — smiles. (thanks for the memory)
Connie, love the L2 contrasts of ‘rusty shell’ and ‘red sports car’ that seems to set up the then-now comparison.
‘Spied rusty shell of red sports car’ what a lot of emotion and imagery that line conjures! wonderful.
the RYŪKA.
Fear mocks in cold and bold attire
But He, above life’s tearful care
Is there: higher and greater than
Mankind’s despair: gentle, the Hand
That some misunderstand and hate
But God is great and He is love
While man debates vast galaxies
Beneath His whispers move
***
Velvet vespers tickle trees
Waft, silk-soft, aloft
Clothed in mist-mauve benedictions
Over dusk’s stilly croft
***
White caps stun green sweeps
Robin rogue protests
This crest of crystal confusion
A snow day in mid-May
I appreciate that “someone” is experimenting with internal rhyme with great success! It is worth mentioning that although rhyme is not addressed in the breakdown of these forms, it is always good to try to get the feel of them with a hint sound apparent! Your ryuka are wonderful, Janet!
thank-you:) It just doesn’t feel like me without a bit of rhyme and you have been a great teacher to me where internal rhyme is concerned.
All wonderful, Janet. That second one really stood out for me.
“Clothed in mist-mauve benedictions” Wow!
Oh, Janet … your writing is simply exquisite.
These are gorgeous, Janet.
Oooooo–I love “velvet vespers” and “mist-mauve benedictions.” They flow off the tongue. And then “crest of crystal confusion” speaks of that bluntness of snow in May. Beautiful uses of alliteration.
Well done, The phrase that I most enjoy is “…gentle, the Hand”
Great as usual. Love “velvet vespers”
Janet, wonderfully written. I agree with Walt on internal rhyme. To me it is as if a poem is breathing when we use internal rhyme.
Your phrase with ‘velvet vespers’ is a perfect picture of heartfelt prayer.
Aligning myself with nature,
I step outside humanity,
leave behind all human deceits
and warble with the birds
right there with you! I love the second line!
And we’re glad you can carry a tune, Sal! The truest test of humility is singing aloud outdoors for all to hear. Nicely done, Sir!
“Warble with the birds.” DELIGHTFUL!
Thanks for this…reminds me of my dad. I gained my love of birds from him.
Fun, do you really warble, or sing?
fun poem
Sal… all day on Thursday I fished from a pier and found myself speaking bird to ruddy turnstones, sassy blackbirds, and bait-stealing catbird at Myrtle Beach. Your poem was where I was then.
If I were to title this one, it would be 11-12-14.
Repeated events cause worry
Test after repeated test failed
Further measures necessary
With concerns, family gathers
Prayers to the Heavenly Father
Tears shed for possible letdown
Patient ready for whatever
The surgeon’s knife awaits
© Earl Parsons
A stark and emotional ryuka, Earl. Heart rending! If that supposed title is a date, what was the outcome? Powerful poem, my friend!
It was the day I had my 5X CABG. And the outcome is that I’m still around to write such stuff.
And we’re better because you are!
How exciting it would be to see nature from an animal’ s point of view.
Oops! This was meant for Sal.
I felt the anxiety in this one, Earl.
Oh, man! I can FEEL this one. So glad it’s all over, and God got you through it!
There’s tension of a piano wire in this one.
There’s a direct correlation between the prayers and the patient being ready…so glad you were making that connection. And, echoing the gratitude for the outcome!
Seems there is anxiousness and yet peace. Thankful for the outcome.
Lives with prayer and without prayer are two different things. So great to have prayer in such times.
Earl, you shared the moment fully in this ryuka, with perfect transparency of the peace you grasped.
This also goes with PA napkin prompt
Scribble some words on a napkin
Tuck it away in your pocket
It might become a published poem
Or dissolve in laundry
If the paper product is not a post-it note, odds are it becomes the business end of a sneeze or worse! A playful bit here, Connie!
“business end of a sneeze” funny
Witty writing, Connie.
Awww! Too cute! (And unfortunately, sounds like it is coming from experience!)
ugh…dissolving in laundry — a great last line! But oh such a bummer!
A live-action prompt so many poets know, which I have failed to follow so often. Liked this Connie.
[…] Shared at Poetic Bloomings – INFORM POETS: RYŪKA […]
This Ryuka can be found on my blog, along with a photo. I went with the 8/8/8/6 format.
https://whenwordsescape.wordpress.com/2016/05/18/peace-found-in-a-ryuka/
long hours at desk, shoulders tensing
responsibilities weigh much
surrounded by favorite things
momentary reprieve
Love the mental pause those flowers provide, if only briefly! Well expressed. Remember although responsibilities weigh much, irresponsibility offers a heavier burden. Thankfully, you remain on the right side of that ledger! Hang in there, Paula!
I clearly remember that feeling.
I feel it with you, sweet friend. 😦 Hugs!
Glad you found a moment to breathe, Paula.
nice snapshot
I felt your sigh there Paula, I have favorite things on my desk too but smooth stones, not as lovely as your orchid!
butterfly kisses on old lips
new eyes blinking in the sunshine
there a grandchild blossoms
A great start, but by chance might you have lost a line along the way? A blossoming grandchild sounds promising. Are you not telling us something?
whoops haste makes for a lost line and noooo news on that front..
Bummer! My heart was pounding for you for a moment there, Pearl. Find that line and repost when you can? Love it!
Gives me grandma envy
Oh good, a new flower for our garden!
5-5-8-6
She does not see him
She does not hear him
She acts as if he isn’t there
Yet her father loves her
7-5-8-6
The magic’s in the moment
The moment is now
Don’t dare miss this magic moment
It won’t happen again
8-8-8-6
It followed me around for years
I ignored that still quiet voice
Then one day the volume increased
That day I met my Lord
Excellent, all three. (And amen!)
You’ve seemed to have embraced this form well, Earl! You’ve written some great Ryuka. Thanks for “playing”!
I especially liked the first one…so easily read with “father” or “Father” in that last line…I can say I’ve experienced both.
Particularly like the last one
Perfect craft! You seemed to have embraced an ‘economy’ with your syllables that I’m finding it hard to grasp in this form, Earl.
A young Paris moon shines softly
A silent garden welcomes us
A love song written at midnight
Kissing the morning sun
Ooooh … one of my faves so far. So beautiful!
Is it warm in here, or is it Janice’s Ryuka? A well crafted scene here! Good form, J.Lynn!
Beautiful!
Enjoying the alliteration and the emotions that go with it.
“a love song written at midnight” – how lovely and romantic, jlynn.
Lovely
J. Lynn, your quiet midnight stage sets the scene for this love song.
~
in folds of milky white linen
single sooty smudged fingerprint
tears spilled from mascara’d lashes
you tried for composure
Oh my goodness, Pearl. This simple image speaks volumes. Wow …
Yes it do! And we hear it loud and clear!
I can visualize this scene perfectly, Pearl.
sad
Pearl, the halts of thought between lines imply the attempts to hold back emotions. Love that aspect of this ryuka.
5-7-5-7-7.
~
there in candlelight
smiling you lift fork to lips
take a dainty bite
tongue running across your teeth
a soft breath before you speak
There are other variations of Ryūka such as
7-5-8-6 or
5-5-8-6 or
longer Ryūka with 8-8-8-8-8-8-8…-6.
So very sensuous. 🙂
Thanks for this Pearl. Did someone say sensuous? Quite very!
But what I failed to point out in my intro to the ryuka, it that the ryuka is often compared to the Tanka (which Pearl has so eloquently offered here). I mentioned the meter of the tanka, but left that part dangling. My error. But a great execution here no matter. This shines, Pearl!
Nice one
~
5-7-5-7-7.
~
there in candlelight
smiling you lift fork to lips
take a dainty bite
tongue running across your teeth
a soft breath before you speak~
7-5-8-6
the flame flickers as you exhale
nonchalant I wait
in the far too dark dining room
your fork clinks on your plate
~
5-5-8-6
darling – been thinking
been thinking my dear
click of crystal shattering
heart cracking softly
~
8-8-8-6
there at our candlelit table
you place your napkin on your plate
arrange your frozen face, pat your hair
perfectly ending us
~
Wow. Pearl! So much contained here … an entire story of two, in a few poetic lines. Oh my goodness, such brilliant work.
More iridescent brilliance here, Pearl! Seems these ryuka translate well where romance lingers. Or ends. Excellent!
Really nice linking of scenes!
Powerful story. And sad.
A beautiful poetic tale!
You’ve made a story of it. Good job
Love the unfolding tale here variation-by-variation. Tension mounts, heart breaks and is scattered with the silent stunning end. Wow.
LONG RYŪKA FORM
After school, two five-year-old boys
Hug and cry in the parking lot
As one is moving far away
And how would it be possible
To span that large of a distance
When you are two five-year-old boys
Whose parents are not acquainted
And all there is left to do is
Hold each other and cry
So sad, and so true.
A wonderfully sad scene, well written. It tugs gently with great effect! You’ve still got it, Pard!
Thank you, Sir Walt! That means a great deal to me, coming from you.
😀
I saw the piece paired with the photo on your blog…heart-string-tugging for sure.
Thank you, sweet friend. Reading my nephew-in-law’s FB post about it ripped my heart out. 😦
Feels sad, and rings true.
Thank you. 🙂
Awww
oh, oh, oh, Marie! Wrenching.
Thank you, sir! 🙂
Here are three more, and that’s it for now, or I’ll have to consider admission to the Betty Ford Clinic. These little guys are addictive!
Three Variations on a Ryūka
I.
I made wishes on mindless stars
The full moon pulling song from me
But words died in my throat that day
My face was stained with tears
II.
A robin’s singing to me
Such a sturdy song
A simple summer memory
A sharp and broken tone
III.
The sun has its ways
A flat-footed chase
I’ve left you for the sea again
I’ll meet you in the wind
I. (form constraint: 8/8/8/6)
II. (form constraint: 7/5/8/6)
III. (form constraint: 5/5/8/6)
Wow! Powerful bits of poetics, Marilyn! Each with its charm and affect! They are certainly addictive, and your aptitude at them is mesmerizing!
Thanks, Walt. A very entertaining little form.
Hear, hear! Impressive, as usual!
That final one really touched a place inside — nice!
Thank you. 🙂
All beautiful, Misk. My favorite is the third, which I found haunting.
Thank you!
Great writing
Thank you. 😀
Oh my, Misky. The interchanges between nature and heart pictures this poet so well.
Thank you, Damon. I’m really pleased that you like them.
No more elms on Elm Avenue,
but their melody lingers on,
along with echoing lyrics
from friends also too early gone.
I know this unfortunate feeling. Good to see you here, Daniel!
Love this
I read this yesterday and thought for sure I had replied. Apparently it didn’t go through. These few words are not only beautifully poetic, but the comparison grabbed my heart. Love this, my friend.
Daniel, love this. The nostalgia of friends long gone is powerful.
A poignant piece of Pai! A touching salute here, Daniel. So glad to read your words again! Welcome “home”.
Thanks Sara and Walter for starting us on this journey with wonderful examples. Here is mine. I think I’ll just call it:
8886
Parched earth, perilous dust to dust
Scorching mockery, pain and loss;
Upward lament, Elijah prayers.
Breathe! Petrichor–then rain.
Love this, especially the word petrichor
To my shame, I had to look it up. Love it!
Petrichor–it’s a word I discovered just a few years ago. I never knew there was a word for that earthy scent but I love that there is.
Connie, how two words can so powerfully bring relief! ‘…then, rain.’. Wow.
Thanks, Connie. You continue the journey beautifully.
Great work, Connie!
Hear, hear!
Daunting clouds fill the graying sky
Air builds to pulsating substance
Trees shimmer, commence ballet dance
Branches sway to silent rhythm
Flowers dip their bright showy heads
Swirling leaves ape downy feathers
Birds seek nests, rabbits find burrows
Others head for sheltered retreats
Gate pounds like a big bass drum
Door, windows secured, wind-chime sings
Hovering lines hold billowing clothes
Blue ball skitters across parched lawn
Lightning flashes, low thunder rolls
Eerie quiet settles on land
The awaited rain falls.
8-8-8-8-8….6
I enjoyed these images.
Wonderful imagery, complete with sound and scent. Wonderful!
Another masterpiece, Marjory! Well done!
Love this landscape of movement and sound, Marjory.
the sun rises to greet the day
a grand display filled with promise;
hope. We cope with life’s obstacles,
the speed bumps we must all traverse.
But the worst mistake we can make
is hiding ourselves from her light,
choosing to fade into darkness.
Night is just the shadow of day.
It refreshes us, gives us pause.
We revel in her cause.
Wonderful contrast of the lovely and the laborious. Oh how I’ve missed your voice.
I know. I brought it back just for you! Thanks for your kind words. I need to remember the poem above. These days seems to blend together to where I lose sight of them.
❤
Beautiful. And so true.
Thank you, Connie!
I enjoy this: the ups and downs, encouragement, especially enjoy “…Night is just a shadow of day.”
Thanks Marjory. Was torn between “the shadow” and “the negative” of day. Negative like a developed photograph negative!
Thanks Walt and Sara for this fun form. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the blooms. Late posting but wanted to share these from my beach week.
8886
Hypothesize, hypothesize,
I ponder on the line that lies,
hypotenuse, from me to sea.
My thoughts are caught and freed.
8886
“Cut your bait in two,” his face frowned.
“and you can fish all day. If not,
you waste your bait,” the old man said.
“As well as time”, I smiled.
8886
I fed a thousand fish today
I fed them bait and time and mind
I fed them cries and frowns and sighs
but none replied in kind.
8886
The green line slackens, catches wind,
then tightens with waves in the surf.
However Ocean answers me,
calm and peace are my catch.