POETIC BLOOMINGS

POETIC BLOOMINGS is a Phoenix Rising Poetry Guild site established in May 2011 to nurture and inspire the creative spirit.

AN ENTERTAINING SUMMER – DAY #13: HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME / PANTOUM

Our next song selection is Hot Fun in the Summertime by Sly and the Family Stone.

SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE
“Hot Fun In The Summertime”

(Sylvester Stewart (aka Sly Stone))

End of the spring
And here she comes back
Hi, hi, hi, hi there
Them summer days
Those summer days

That’s when I had
Most of my fun, back
High, high, high, high there
Them summer days
Those summer days

cloud nine when I want to
Out of school, yeah
County fair in the country sun
And everything is true
Ooh, yeah, yeah

Hot fun in the summertime
Hot fun in the summertime
Hot fun in the summertime
Hot fun in the summertime

First of the fall
And then she goes back
Bye, bye, bye, bye there
Them summer days
Those summer days

Boop-boop-boop-boop
When I want to
Out of school
County fair in the country sun
And everything is cool
Ooh, yeah, yeah

Hot fun in the summertime
Hot fun in the summertime
Hot fun in the summertime

The weather has been a topic (when isn’t it?) of late, with many areas in the throes of extreme heat. It hasn’t been much fun. But this song always had a feel good vibe to it. It mentions ideas for summer fun. End of school, county fairs,  being out in the country sun, but let’s not forget the heat. Listen to the song or read the lyrics and heat up your muse for some summer fun. A “family” vacation wouldn’t be out of the question either (They are the Family Stone after all!) Inspiration is all around us. Take the plunge and be cool!

###

Wednesday also mean a form requirement. Today, it’s the Pantoum!

A rare form of poetry similar to a villanelle. It is composed of a series of quatrains; the second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next. This pattern continues for any number of stanzas, except for the final stanza, which differs in the repeating pattern. The first and third lines of the last stanza are the second and fourth of the penultimate; the first line of the poem is the last line of the final stanza, and the third line of the first stanza is the second of the final. Ideally, the meaning of lines shifts when they are repeated although the words remain exactly the same: this can be done by shifting punctuation, punning, or simply recontextualizing.

 

In the example, the letters A, B, C etc refer to whole repeated lines, not just rhyming lines.

a First Line
b Second Line
c Third Line
d Fourth Line

b Second Line
e Fifth Line
d Fourth Line
f Sixth Line

e Fifth Line
c Third Line
f Sixth Line
a First Line

Example of Pantoum:

PANTOUM OF THE OPERA

I hide in the shadows concealed,
through cavernous matter of gray,
where these fragments of thought are revealed,
and fiery synapses play.

Through cavernous matter of gray,
a muse is amused and aroused,
as fiery synapses play
with words that those thoughts do espouse.

A muse so amused and aroused,
composition of poetry proposed,
through words that those thoughts do espouse,
and the feelings of heart so exposed.

Composition of poetry proposed,
set to music, a song so inspired,
with feelings of heart so exposed,
laced with love’s sweet burning fire.

Set to music, a song so inspired,
an aria driven and strong,
laced with love’s sweet burning fire,
for you to sing, Angel of Song.

An aria driven and strong,
you see through my flaws to my soul,
you sing to me, Angel of song,
and my vision of you takes control.

You see through my flaws to my soul,
exposing the me you have known,
as my vision of you takes control,
it shows you how much I have grown.

Expose me, the man you have known,
I hide in your shadows concealed.
I’ll show you how much love has grown,
when these fragments of thoughts are revealed.

© Walter J. Wojtanik

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48 thoughts on “AN ENTERTAINING SUMMER – DAY #13: HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME / PANTOUM

  1. William Preston on said:

     
     
    OMENS

    As though I understood,
    I watched the copse of crows
    approach the summer wood
    in undulating rows.

    I watched the copse of crows
    descending, flinging fright
    in undulating rows,
    bringing with them the night,

    descending, flinging fright.
    I watched them once again
    bringing with them the night.
    I thought, there will be rain.

    I watched them once again
    approach the summer wood;
    I thought there will be rain,
    as though I understood.

    NB: Today looks to be a busy one; I may not get back to read. Thanks for your model, Walt’ I thought it especially fit Lon Chaney’s phantom.

  2.  
     
    A GOOD DAY

    Upon the lake we drop our lines,
    and in our boat we are afloat.
    A bad day fishing is just fine,
    I find I have no need to gloat.

    In our boat we are afloat.
    The summer sun creeps up the shore.
    I find I have no need to gloat.
    This lake is full of fish galore.

    The summer sun creeps up the shore,
    the silence is a welcome sign.
    This lake is full of fish galore.
    I hope a few of them are mine!

    The silence is a welcome sign.
    I find my peace while I am fishing.
    I hope a few of them are mine,
    at least that is what I am wishing!

    I find my peace while I am fishing,
    a creel of fish and we can eat,
    at least that is what I am wishing,
    but if it’s empty, I’ll cut bait!

    A creel of fish and we can eat,
    a bad day fishing is just fine
    but if it’s empty, I’ll just wait!
    Upon the lake we drop our lines.

    © Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

  3. Earl Parsons on said:

     
     
    Minute By Minute

    Minute by minute the conditions change
    Weather predictions are a crap shoot
    First sun, then clouds, then lightning and rain
    Take sunscreen, sandals, and a rain suit

    Weather predictions are a crap shoot
    Good luck packing everything you need
    Got sunscreen, sandals, and your rain suit?
    And just in case, take something to read

    Good luck packing everything you need
    We all forget something or other
    Just in case, take your favorite read
    Or you can talk to one another

    You will forget something or other
    Don’t be embarrassed; it’s just that way
    Just ask for help from one another
    Working together makes a nice day

    Don’t be embarrassed; it’s just that way
    Minute by minute the conditions change
    Working together makes a nice day
    Whether sunny or cloudy or rain

    © Earl Parsons

  4. Earl Parsons on said:

     
     
    A pantoum is fun
    Fun like nails on a chalkboard
    Walt can be so cruel

  5. Pingback: 4H: Learn By Doing | echoes from the silence

  6. My first attempt at a pantoum.

    4H: LEARN BY DOING

    Anticipating the State Fair
    as the summer rolls along.
    Such great fun we can share:
    livestock, crafts, and cookery; finish strong,

    as the summer rolls along.
    We band together
    livestock, crafts and cookery! Finish strong
    no matter the weather.

    We band together
    such great fun we can share.
    No matter the weather,
    anticipating the State Fair!

  7. connielpeters on said:

     
     
    Summers in Phoenix

    A little toasty, I admit
    Though Arizona is quite dry
    One hundred twenty and a bit
    It’s good when you have eggs to fry

    Though Arizona is quite dry
    The sidewalks sizzle in the heat
    It’s good when you have eggs to fry
    That type of cooking can’t be beat

    The sidewalks sizzle in the heat
    Sun bathers slap the sun screen on
    That type of cooking can’t be beat
    Like breakfast toast, they’re golden brown

    Sun bathers slap the sun screen on
    But they’d be smart to stay inside
    Like breakfast toast, they’re golden brown
    But shriveled like a grape that’s dried

    But they’d be smart to stay inside
    The largest organ is the skin
    But shriveled like a grape that’s dried
    So protect it now and stay within

    The largest organ is the skin
    Drink lots of water and stay cool
    So protect it now and stay within
    It’s hot outside, don’t be a fool.

    Drink lots of water and stay cool
    It’s VERY toasty, I admit
    It’s hot outside, don’t be a fool
    One hundred twenty and a bit

  8.   
      
    FRED AND THE FAMILY FLINTSTONE

    Fred Flintstone’s late again for work;
    he does this all the time.
    Sun’s red hot and Fred’s a jerk
    for prehistoric wine.

    He does this all the time.
    “Sun’s on fire,” he tells his wife.
    “For prehistoric wine?
    Why, that ain’t how to waste a life!”

    “Sun’s on fire,” he tells his wife.
    “My feet burn with blisters.
    Why, that ain’t how to waste a life!
    More wine to soak my whiskers!

    My feet burn with blisters.
    up all day on that Bronto-crane.
    More wine to soak my whiskers!
    Wilma dear, it’s driving me insane!

    I’m up all day on that Bronto-crane
    hauling rocks and cracking stones.
    Wilma dear, it’s driving me insane!
    This job is out to break my bones!”

    Hauling rocks and cracking stones,
    I’d rather lift my bedrock mug.
    This job is out to break my bones!”
    Wilma shakes her head and shrugs.

    “I’d rather lift my bedrock mug,
    drain on down this sweet red wine.”
    Wilma shakes her head and shrugs
    at one more sorry summertime.

    #

  9. I’m not sure I followed the form. I think I may have gotten lines mixed up somewhere.
    Here it is anyway. 😎

    Road Trip Memories

    Love in the backseat –
    kids singing off-key.
    I’m tapping my feet
    we’re feeling carefree

    Kids singing off-key
    still keeping the beat
    we’re feeling carefree
    memories bittersweet

    Still keeping the beat
    I’m tapping my feet
    memories bittersweet
    (of) love, in the backseat

  10.  
     
    Summer Dreamin’

    She left me hot
    panting for more,
    as she left my spot
    along the shore.

    Panting for more
    I followed in her wake,
    along the shore,
    gee I hope this isn’t a mistake!

    I followed in her wake
    looking at shells…
    gee, I hope this isn’t a mistake
    but man, she’s weaved her spells.

    Looking at shells
    I nearly tumble and fall
    but man, she’s weaved her spells
    Watch out! Beach ball!

    I followed in her wake
    as she left my spot…
    gee, I hope this isn’t a mistake,
    she left me hot.

  11.  
     
    Shades of Salt

    I wade in salty sea with delirious shells
    On shades of sand, in fog that sighs,
    And once again I walk summer’s swell
    It caresses my feet, soft as butterflies.

    On shades of sand, in fog that sighs
    Come night when stars are born and bed
    caress my feet, soft as butterflies.
    My heart is sombre, sunset led

    Come night when stars are born and bed
    And once again I walk summer’s swell
    My heart is sombre, sunset led
    I wade in salty sea with delirious shells

    .

    © Misky 2016

  12.  
     
    Hot Day At The Fair

    At the Washington County Fair
    sipping strawberry lemonade
    pulling back all my hair
    desperately seeking shade.

    Sipping strawberry lemonade
    visiting animals in their stalls
    desperately seeking shade
    heat carried a stench over all.

    Visiting animals in their stalls
    pulling back all my hair
    heat carried a stench over all
    at the Washington County Fair

    Pulling back all my hair
    wandering through vendors’ tents
    at the Washington County Fair
    one hundred degrees–wish I’d had more sense.

    • Looking forward to our county fair for all the same aromatic and pungent scents! You captured it well, Sara! I only wish I had hair to pull back! 😀

      In an aside, I’ve been listening to 106.7 The Eagle at work of late. Pacific Northwest radio beats the heck out of Buffalo noise! (And Jim E. Chonga? What a great name!)

  13. Sneaking in here at the last hour. Posting two…same first few stanzas, different final ones because my first version doesn’t quite fit “summer fun”.

    version i
    I could just feel the beat
    creeping in through the walls
    there would be no retreat
    no slacking at all

    creeping in through the walls
    came the raucous chorus
    no slacking at all
    a huge crowd before us

    came the raucous chorus
    someone fired off a gun
    a huge crowd before us
    the violence was done

    someone fired off a gun
    there would be no retreat
    the violence was done
    I would soon lose the beat

    version ii
    I could just feel the beat
    creeping in through the walls
    there would be no retreat
    no slacking at all

    creeping in through the walls
    came the raucous chorus
    no slacking at all
    a huge crowd before us

    came the raucous chorus
    at last I found the one
    a huge crowd before us
    we sneaked off for some fun

    at last I found the one
    there would be no retreat
    we sneaked off for some fun
    I could just feel the beat

    • Nicely done, Rob! Just the slightest revision gives it a new feel; from ominous to amorous! And as always, these are merely suggestions – the prompt will point a direction. Choosing to take it is strictly up to you. Although we are playing with “An Entertaining Summer” theme, you can choose not to “go there”. The prompt will be laced with that, but your poem doesn’t need to fully embrace it.

  14. Pingback: Poem: Feeling the Beat – Wanna Get Published, Write!

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