Ogden Nash

Many of you who know me (at least in the literary sense) know I am a huge fan of Ogden Nash.  He wrote some of the funniest, wittiest, most clever poetry ever.  In honor of one of my poetry idols, I give you the Nasher.

So, what is it?  According to John Drury in his The Poetry Dictionary, a Nasher is, ‘a light-verse form, invented by Ogden Nash, in which lines ranging from very short to extremely long *rhyme comically in* couplets.’

It’s basically a license to write anything poetic that you wish, just so long as the lines (in couplet form) end in end-rhyme or even wrenched end-rhyme.  But, to the uninitiated what does that mean?  It means that you, as the poet, have free reign (if you’re so inclined) to somewhat indiscriminately add suffixes, play with homophones and even make up words.  Or not.

A famous example by Mr. Nash is from Kindly Unhitch That Star, Buddy:

Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds
instead of rhinestones

Only by everlastingly keeping their noses to their

Here are a few examples by moi:

Cognito Ergo Sum

Meditations on First Philosophy was criticized by Kierkegaarde,
saying the pre-supposition of the concept of ‘I’ showed blatant disregaarde,

since ‘cogito’ could not be a logical argument. In fact, he claimed it was logically trivial.
But perhaps that was only because Søren and René had never gone out for a drink or repast that was convivial.

So, is there something to the words: “Je pense donc je suis?”
Well, I don’t claim to be a philosopher but on this one point I feel I must agree…

if I think I am, then I am (I think), since if I pinch myself, I know it will smartes.
And if I’m at the grocery store I also think I must pay for what’s in Descartes.


Not an Emergency

If you miss your deadline, if you’re running late or if you just screwed up, please don’t hand me a line
because bad planning on your part does not, in any way, constitute an emergency on mine.

A Nasher for the Geocacher

What could be more fun than to hunt for some hidden treasure?
You can take the whole family – or some friends – or just go by yourself, and scout it out at your leisure.

All you have to do, is plug all the magic coordinates into your GPS device
and within a roughly 6 to 20 foot vicinity, the location’s pinpointed by triangulation, and it is fairly precise.

It’s all done by satellites, which are miles up in the sky
with signals that are bounced back down to earth with a full longitude and latitude supply.

But … once in the zone, the prize, you’ll have to very carefully seek,
in order to find its concealed spot in a tree hollow, trestle, rock formation, crevice, culvert or the bed of a creek.

But once you find the cache, which should be in some sort of waterproof container or box
you can open it quickly, since generally, there are no deadbolts, or combination locks.

Once inside the ‘treasure chest’, you’ll find all sorts of trinkets and gewgaws,
and key chains, Travel Bugs, Geocoins, breakfast cereal toys and other jolly fooferaws.

The idea is to take something, but to leave something else (of similar nature) in its place
for the next Geocacher, on another treasure hunt, who will find and open that particular treasure case.

Additionally, there’s usually a logbook and a pencil provided for you to record
your visit to the Geocache.  You can mark how you found it, and how you claimed your reward.

But please be mindful of that bauble pot, and when finished, kindly put it back where you uncovered it.
Then someone else can play the game, since they will be happy to have, at last, discovered it.


So…are you ready for this gnasher mission?

Ready…set…go!  Start your poeming ignition!


A Tattle Tale

“Twitchy” Mitch is tattle-rich.
I’d take the twitch and ditch the snitch.

© copyright 2013, Marie Elena Good

On Nasher!

Revealed:  Ogden’s former career?
’Twas Nasher, the Rhymin’ Reindeer!

But this abecedarian authoritarian’s verses
Were aeronautically challenging.  Curses.

© copyright 2013, Marie Elena Good



From the 24th of Decemberer
as long as I can rememberer,

I had a certain thing for her
(since early in the Spring, I’m sure)

A loving lass with loads of class,
and a slightly full well-rounded ass,

most playful with a bit of sass,
as Northern woman have I guess.

In social circles she would mingle,
and watching her would make me tingle

to the very tips of all my fingles,
she makes my toes and my bells jingle.

Immortal as the day is long,
these northern women are built strong,

and sing a slightly different song
(though her voice will hit most notes all wrong).

Up here upon this frozen isthmus,
all the elflets prepare for Christhmus,

while I canoodle with the Misthus
under mistletoe to kiss this

lovely woman, Mrs. Claus,
The reason I always return of course.

My refreshing little Christmas pause
when my journey’s done, I’ll bare my Claus

(she likes me like that, just because
for I am her jolly Santa Claus!)

© copyright 2013, Walter J Wojtanik