POETIC BLOOMINGS

POETIC BLOOMINGS is a Phoenix Rising Poetry Guild site established in May 2011 to nurture and inspire the creative spirit.

BEAUTIFUL BLOOMS – PROMPT #93

We changed our perspective to write our poems this week — or should I say, we “lowered” our point of view. In choosing to write a children’s poem, we had tapped into our inner child and embraced these words. The results are varied and consistently well written. The BEAUTIFUL BLOOMS for this week:

MARIE ELENA’S  PICK:

What fun we had this week, didn’t we?  You all did a great job writing for children!  Several were exceptional, and should be sent out for publication.  For my bloom, I’ve chosen Kate Wilson’s “In the Wilds,” but could as easily have chosen her “Heartfelt Plea.”  It’s fun all the way through, with a great twist at the end.  What more would a kid want?  This should be set to a catchy, jingly tune and sung around campfires. 😉   When it comes to writing flawless fun for kids, it’s just hard to beat Kate.  Congratulations, K8e314!

In the Wilds (by Kate Wilson)

I’m the only one awake,
in the dark, dark tent,
in the tent, in the dark,
just me.

I’m the only one awake,
and I wish that I could sleep
but I can’t ’cause I really
have to—

Ohhhh….

My Uncle Jim is snoring,
so he must be sound asleep.
He’s louder than an angry
bumblebee.

My brother Jack is mumbling
and my sister is a corpse.
Me? I really, really, really
have to—

Ohhhh…

Mom said that I could wake her
if I had to go outside,
and she’d hold the flashlight steady
just for me.

But I don’t think I’m a baby.
I can do this for myself,
since I am the only one
who needs to—

Ohhhh…

I fumble for my shoes
in the dark, dark tent.
Where’s the flashlight? No, that’s only
Annie’s knee.

There it is. Now I’m set,
and I—shh!—unzip the flap,
but I do so wish I didn’t
have to—

Ohhhh…

Oh, this flashlight’s awful dim,
and it’s cold out here, and dark,
and there’s funny noises whispering
to me.

But I’m brave and I’m bold
and the night can’t frighten me
’cause I very, very much do
need to—

Ohhhh…

I wish I could remember where
my uncle dug that pit.
I guess I’ll just go find
a friendly tree.

I hope nobody minds.
I haven’t got a choice.
It’s like that when you’ve really
got to—

Ohhhh…

What’s that light, in the distance,
over there? It calls to me.
I stumble through the bushes
just to see.

It’s a porch—our back porch!
Such relief! I am saved.
Maybe afterwards I’ll see
what’s on TV….

WALT’S BLOOM:

I had (have) this battle with my daughter on a recurring basis. It has been the subject of a few of my own poems. But to put a childish twist to it and the poem becomes this homage to all of our youthful days and the rooms that were our sanctuaries and personal space. “Clean Your Room!” by Pamela Smyk Cleary earns this honor.

Clean Your Room! (by Pamela Smyk Cleary)

“What a disaster!” I heard her shout.
“Straighten this room, if you want to go out!
These toys and clothes, please, pick them up!
(Can’t argue with Mom, so I just muttered, “yup.”)

’Straighten it up’ – that’s what she said –
so I kicked my laundry beneath the bed,
and all the stuffed toys (my collection is vast)
went into the closet – really fast.
The rest of the toys? Couldn’t help myself –
I jammed them tight onto each book shelf.

Then I called her back to inspect the place,
but I still wasn’t done. (I could tell by her face.)
“Clean clothes stacked on the bed can’t stay –
and the Legos and books must be all put away,
or no computer and no TV!”
(That’s the threat she offered me.)

But, my closet was crammed – couldn’t shut the door,
and my bookshelves? Full of toys galore!
So the clothes & books & Lego blocks
I stuffed inside my big toy box.

Then I called her back to inspect once more,
and she smiled and… I ran out the door.
“The place looks good!” That’s what she said.
(I hope she doesn’t look under the bed.)

***

A special nod to Erin Kay Hope for her consistently good work week after week. In writing the children’s poem, she had an advantage of being the closest to the subject than the rest of us, and even for a youthful poem, she exhibits a sense of maturity in her works.

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30 thoughts on “BEAUTIFUL BLOOMS – PROMPT #93

  1. Iris D on said:

    Congratulations Pamela and Kate. Fun poems for sure!!!

  2. Well-deserved winning poems, Pam and Kate!

  3. Oh Kate, your tent experience is a joy! I loved every word and the form and rhythm are so unique and clever. Pamela, we have all lived your poem, both as the children and as the parents in the poem. Nicely done. Wonderful bloom choices.

  4. Both blooms are blinking marvellous. My stepson was reading the riot act to his 9-year-old daughter, “You can’t do your homework in all this clutter and turn off the TV.” “But Daaad, I’m a girl, I can multi-task.”

  5. Good poems both! Congrats, guys!

    Wow! Thanks for the “special nod”! I just write what’s in my heart, what catches at my throat, and has to be written down. Thanks so much, Walt and Marie! It really couldn’t be done without your help and guidance.

  6. Oh, thank you so much, Marie! And Pamela, yes, that poem is so true and so skillfully written… and so funny. And Erin, too–a well-deserved tip of the hat.

    You all realize I had an unfair advantage this week, having forgotten to grow up along the way. But it’s much too late for that now, and I’m honored to be blooming here.

  7. sheryl kay oder on said:

    Kate, I love that unexpected twist at the end of the poem. If there was a den close by it did not belong to a bear, but to the dad. Also, your refrain of “I have to” and “need to” lends a certain urgency (pun needed) to the poem.

    Ah, Pamela, your poem shows just how a child thinks of order. it doesn’t matter where things are put as long as they are out of the way. Our son still remembers the book I bought for him, entitled, “What to Do When your Mom Says to Clean your Room.” It helped. But then there is no material for such a poem from me that way. 😉

    Erin, thank you for your consistently special blooms. You deserved the shout out Walt gave you.

  8. Henrietta Choplin on said:

    I just Loved these delightful poems!! Congratulations, Kate and Pamela!! Also, kudos to Erin, you are so very talented and it is good to see that you have been encouraged to write at such a young age!!

  9. Great choices. I also have that “clean the room problem” with my teenage daughter.

    There were so many good poem for this prompt. I am sure that when I need a laugh or a smile I will go back to this thread and read them again.

  10. Applauds loudly! (Great picks! And what a wonderful treat for me to read!) ♥

  11. Excellent picking you two!! These were both a joy and entertaining to read…congratulations, Katie and Pamela!! :)’s

  12. Oh my! What a lovely way to end this crazy week! Thank you, Walt! (Now, I’m not saying that’s how I cleaned MY room, but, if you could see my house right now… 😉 Oh, Kate, “In the Wilds” was fun — and so true-to-life. And the ending – perfect! And Erin, I really enjoyed “Now Wouldn’t That Be Fun?”, and am happy my homework days are well behind me. But, if you figure out where to hire that magic, count me in! (Maybe it can help with housework too!) 😉

  13. claudsy on said:

    I’m with you, RJ. Kate, your poem became a song in my head, like one that would have been sung in the sixties by Ray Stevens or Allan Sherman with his Camp Grenada. Loved it.

    Pamela, I’ve known very few parents who didn’t go through this with their children, My experience was different. It was understood from the very beginning that Mom had sole right to investigate our rooms anytime she chose, including closets and chests of drawers. It developed a habit for extreme order so that wouldn’t find disappointment or those things we felt were “very private.” I could so understand the kid’s thoughts, though, as I’ve seen some of those rooms over the years and the frustration on the face of the moms involved.

    Congratulations, both of you. They were delightful and well-deserving of praise. Erin, kudos on the special notice for your work, as well. Walt’s right about how much you’ve grown in ability over the past several months. (I’m waving wildly, both hands above head and cheering for you.)

  14. Loved these! I totally missed (not because of ignorance, just busyness) the great prompt this week…and it was right up my alley! But these blooms are delightful, and now that I’ve got some down time I will still go back and read ALL the entries. And may try to meet the prompt this week too.
    Pamela, Kate…what fun! Loved them both…and Erin, everybody agrees…your work is so good. When that chapbook comes out, let us know! And…don’t clean that room! You know your muse naps under your scattered stuff.

  15. Excellent choices!! Pamela is totally channeling one of my favorites, She’ll Silverstein, and Kate definitely knows how to keep the suspense, very clever. Really enjoyed this prompt and these poems! 🙂

  16. Congratulations, Bloomers!

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