Kicking off the first Sunday prompt in 2013, we’re setting you up for some word play.
Here is a list of words:
challenge, common, mask, skill, origin, love, night, drink, beauty, deathNow, here’s the twist:
Write your poems using these words. BUT, none of these words can appear in your poem. Get reacquainted with your old friend Roget and use your thesaurus to find an alternate word for each, and then use THOSE words to write your poem. You choose the right word for what it is you want to say.
MARIE ELENA’S ALTERNATIVE ATTEMPT:
Taste and see the Lord’s goodness – His grace will not pass away. From the foundation of the world, His devotion to mankind was unveiled. Since He spoke light into the darkness, It has exposed no ordinary cosmos. Evidence of His magnificent handiwork Defies creation’s denial. Taste and see His goodness. His grace will not pass away.WALT’S WORDPLAY:
LIFE IS GOOD!
It was his major bone of contention,
that all familiar things seemed to conceal
his emotion. His proficiency with words,
though pleasing and alluring, never neared extinction.
From his conception until eternal darkness comes to shroud,
life remains his to imbibe, an intoxicant making him a drunkard
for this existence, never being quenched. The inebriation
of every last breath lightens his thoughts and step. His mind
is free and so is he. Life is good!
POETIC BLOOMINGS 
Responses
I’m doing this on my iPod so I don’t really have a way to underline or change the color of the words I used so I just put stars around them. That way you can tell which alternate words I used.😊
And Follow Him
I walk in the shadows,
Veiled by *blackness*,
Mocking the *Dawn*,
The Light, the Truth.
I can do it myself,
My *simple* mind says,
I have the *ability*.
Until I am driven,
By the gnawing voice of the law,
To the *end* of myself;
‘Til I come to *thirst* for His word,
To *cherish* His doctrines,
To *deny* myself,
Take up my cross,
And follow Him.
Good realization…
Well done Erin. Good start of the new year’s prompts.
Thanks gals! ❤
Whoops! There should be stars around the word veiled. I forgot.
Very well done. Your elaborations on the given words are great.
Thank you Viv! I always like using the thesaurus!
Erin, you are so fast! Nicely done, too.
Haha! Thanks, k8e! I can’t rest knowing there’s a prompt I haven’t replied to.😄😉
very smooth and moving
💜
Well done Erin! It echoes the message in Marie’s beautiful poem!
Thanks Janet! I’ve learned to take tips from the best…and Marie’s definitely one of the best!!!
nicely done Erin – wasn’t bright enough to think of a way to delineate my words (tried italics and they didn’t cross with the formatting, but yours of course came over beautifully) – good poem
Thanks, Sharon! It took me forever to think of a way to make the words stand out. And I absolutely adore stars so it’s perfect!😉
Wish there was a way to speak directly to Walt and Marie Elena, after the fact but, of course, there isn’t – not really – so will just say here that I think both of you did masterful jobs with your poems and substitute words – it’s not that easy a gig, is it? But way loads of fun, I thought. I’ll play this game anytime…
You’re so sweet, Sharon! XOX
Marie Elena
Very well done, Erin. Good for you.
Thanks Claudsy!
You’re welcome, Erin.
Both, creative… thank you!
Yes, I agree with Hen , Marie and Walt, clever way to start us off..
Yup! Thanks, you two!
Presenting a HAIBUM
He confronted her with his customary embryo of charm, and weak veneer of feeble-ability to sip passion in the bewitching hour, thus his annihilation of hope.
He lost because of
inept ability in
the bewitching hour.
In other words
He challenged her with his common origin of beauty and weak mask of feeble-skill to drink love in the night hour, thus his death of hope.
He lost because of
inept skill in
the night.
Oh, M!!! I love this!
Clever writing here. Did you mean to write HaiBUM? I think it is a haibun, but roared with much-needed laughter at the typo!
Such a clever use of the prompt… poor guy, though!
LOL!!! What a co-ink-ee-dink!
Yes, Viv – another of my interesting typo’s – But the ‘BUM’ does seem to work here 🙂 –
Not as bad as advertising that our church had (in place of a Pantry Ministry) a Panty Ministry. [No one caught it until the second week it was printed]
Or When I invited the ladies of our church to share (not Heritage Quilts) their Heritage Guilts. [that was pointed out to me in front of 60 -70 women…good laugh]
I should write a book……
😀 Your typos are more fun than the correct versions.
😀 !!! Love that idea of a book, M, I laughed out loud… so thank you for the laughter, my friend!!
😉
Marj, you’re too funny!! Typos have always plagued me as well. I always try to read through everything I type at least twice. But even then I still miss a lot of em.😉
🙂
Some times I can read it over and over and not ‘see’
Exactly!!
Marjory, there is a poem there with those typos. They made me laugh
You most definitely should write a book … Haibums for the non-Japanese lovers of form, or some such … you kill e Margo in the very best way … this was great (as was the recounting of your church newsletter typos …) – truly, you are forever bringing great creativity to the poetic halls and smiles to my face … thanks so much and Happy New Year.
This was a hoot Marjory and so was the story of your typos! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂
enjoyed the creative fun offered in this one
Thank you each for your comments – I am glad to say that I have never met this BUM. 😉
Clever, Marjory.
🙂
OK, back in the morning to comment on alot of great poems done on Sunday
Brilliant, Marjory!
Oh good one, Marjory. Love it!
To Pray Is…
To defy prevalent unworthiness and fear
To lay aside façades and be exposed before Him
To develop the knack of knowing God cares
and He is the source of all things good
To shine light in hours of darkness
To bring on the demise of hopelessness and despair
To sip the splendor of God’s glory and grace
defy, prevalent, facades, knack, cares, source, hours of darkness, demise, sip, splendor
I like “to shine light in hours of darkness.”
very sharp use of these words 🙂
Very beautiful reminder!
“To sip the splendor of God’s glory and grace”
That is a beautiful thought (reality) and statement
Amen! These words are beautiful. I think I need to post them on my fridge for a while…
Connie, this is so true and well done.
Beautifully rendered replacements Janet … every one a jewel.
I really like this, Connie. Well done.
BEAUTIFUL!
Marie Elena
Defiance
I refuse to allow our culture to pass away.
If I had the ability to reveal the true nature
Or those who seek to do us harm –
They would flee, screaming,
Back into that barren darkness
Where their tribe began.
No gentle touch, no caring, no lovely
Words, no potion to imbibe, no ordinary
Routine – they lack the grace to
Understand the nature of our steadfast
Courage, that in the end, prevails.
This is intriguing; I like the way it has a story behind it.
definitely defiant and pointed – can hear the scream
Good defiance
I love this. It’s a bit enigmatic but truly fierce and forceful. Makes me feel like taking up arms and marching for the cause.
Strong and powerful, in both meanings of those words. Excellent, Marian. The story hinted at also lends it a mystery that deepens the strength.
I love the strength of your poem Marian.
I just love this prompt – I always keep the online thesaurus open at the side while writing poetry, because it makes me so conscious of the importance of word choices. I will probably take about a week to answer this one!
I think it is something like controlled variety – very interesting results.
What interests me is how few of these words I’d use anyway. Big ideas in their shorthand packages. Makes me wonder about the ones I wouldn’t hesitate at.
Me too, Viv:)
I love word prompts… thanks for the extra zing! This is just for fun right now, though:
Classic Story
The story of her demise went like this:
demur girl born into wealth falls
for ubiquitous allure, steps down
class ladder at dusk and up to the bar,
searching for amore in a glass of Chardonnay
shreds the veil Emily Post engrained in her mind
only to find she lacked the knack for that lifestyle.
can’t help but giggle after reading this – hope that offers no offense – very clever compilation
Very (sadly) Classic
good fun.
This is fun and tells a story that could later be expanded upon. Good one, Laurie.
Fun poem Laurie.
A SONNET IN PARTING
Just what PROVOKED the need in you to lie?
To utter HACKNEYED words to hack this heart
As if it were a toy? What PRETENSE ply,
What CUNNING trick, what unseen poison dart
To SPRING upon a trusting fool who believed
the FLAME within would never disappear,
That DARK would not come leave me so bereaved.
Why in that devil’s cauldron toss my cheer,
My dreams, the color of my world? A SIP
Perhaps to quench your thirst, bolster your CHARM
To leave another fool with trembling lip,
Someone like me who hungered for your arms.
“I love you,” you swore. “Look into my eyes.”
I saw blue oceans, never my DEMISE.
#
(C) 2013 Salvatore Buttaci
no delight in the story but so much in the art of this
Sadness
Well done, I like your choice of Synonyms.
Aw! So sad! But I love your choice of words!!
Excellent sonnet, sad story that’s all to common!
Excellent writing! with sobering truth.
Oh, well done, and the final couplet does its job perfectly, I think.
Well done, Salvtore.
Ah, Sal, I pray you never lose your talent with such magnificent words that tell of things we see and dismiss in others’ lives. You have a master’s touch framed within a few short lines that flow as ocean currents; surging, ebbing, and finally washing ashore a piece of valuable jetsam to lie at the reader’s feet as a prize to take home for later study.
Can you tell that I liked it? Hmm…
Great Sonnet Sal! Loved it.
Procession
Sorrow swallowed,
dreaded darkness
stayed, weighed heavy,
heavier still.
Until firm slab,
ancient granite,
held, failed further
retched demise,
no drearier depth
to know. The mind
alive refused
to be silenced,
Yet attraction
to a dawning
light dissolved
resolve to hide.
Solid footings
now invite a
new tenderness
devoid of fear
aware of more
shared solitude,
abilities
now grown whole.
Jane Penland Hoover
January 6, 2013
“…Solid footings/now invite a/new tenderness/devoid of fear…” Love this!
Wonderful, Jane. Such short lines which say so much and carry the reader forward. Loved it.
I really like ‘dissolved resolve to hide’.
The first two lines drew me in, and your words painted a picture.
thank you all for reading showing me some of what worked for you in this
Just beautiful!
Beautiful Jane, I too really loved the line ‘dissolved resolve to hide’.
This is so much fun. I will return to read later as we are headed out to friends, but I couldn’t wait to try this out:)
Man is master of disguise
Though clever he may be
Two mutual traits he cannot hide
Pride and humility
The beginning of a man
Is not by height or stature
This test of merit will begin
With our human nature
Man’s devotion is not shown
By well-shaped words he voices
Darkness and light each are made known
As action proves our choices
He who seeks wisdom from the Vine
Will be filled with good measure
While he who consumes lust’s cheap wine
Will never find its treasure
We tread toward mortal demise
And brothers all are we
For there are none who can disguise
Pride or humility
© Janet Martin
Challenge= test
Common=mutual
Mask=disguise
Skill=master
Origin=beginning
Love=devotion and lust
Night=darkness
Drink=consumes
Beauty=merit
Death=demise
Good one, Janet! Have a wonderful day with your friends!!
So well done, Janet.
Thank-you:) I love word play and seeing this variety in poetry is exactly why!
Marvelous poem, Janet. And so very true.
Great prompt today. A good way to work through a miserable cold. Happy New Year, friends!
The Competition
He swilled his beer and called aloud,
an invitation to the crowd
of average folks, of regulars,
in matters purely secular,
to test their acumen and stealth
(and wagers toward minor wealth),
to be the first that eventide
to tell a tale of heart and pride,
a tale of gorgeous winsome ways
disguised as menace, ends of days
a tale to joy and loss and pain
to break then make them whole again.
He laid his fifty dollars down
for the best story to astound
them all, and gave them several hours
to summon muses, herald powers.
Imagination ran its course
as drinkers drank and checked the source
of lives and truths they drank to hide
that now at last were satisfied
to add pathos, to be of worth
for broken hearts are first to birth
tales of betrayal, tales of woe.
To whom would fifty dollars go?
To homeless drunk or hapless drone,
to friendless souls who drink alone,
to wanderers in town a while,
to loud buffoons who make us smile,
to women working night (and day)
to keep the hungry wolf away,
to struggling student, weary dad
who gave his son the best he had,
to aging pirate, dentist, cop,
who make this bar their daily stop?
My fellow poets, tell me now
the story-teller you endow
with language, heart, life’s twist and turn
to win the prize as we watch and learn.
this makes me hear and see the action and plotting of these regular folk. enjoyed the stealth in accomplishment of inclusion of all these words
Wow, Jane, amazing talent… !!
Jane, I agree with Hen. This is amazing.
Amazing!
Fun, Jane.
Just wow! I love this.
Thanks, friends. It was fun to write.
That was absolutely stunning, Jane. Brava! That poem deserves to be framed and hung, it does.
Great story Jane! I felt like I was sitting there scribbling away. 🙂
Life seems to DEMAND that each take a stand——challenge
To know what is CURRENT thus avoid getting burnt.-common
In life we’re on GUARD to avoid what is hard————mask
while our days we CRAFT to not appear daft,———–skill
but keep a firm BASE so in life we can taste————-origin
of what is DELIGHT and leads us to might.—————-love
Then just BEFORE DAWN we wave a trick wand, —–night
with which we can BREW a tasty big stew—————drink
that is so first CLASS, we can serve it to brass———beauty
then just at day’s END, slip round a big bend———–death
Interesting form, M!
Ha–clever rhyming!
I have to agree with both Henrietta and Kate on this one, Marjory. Even though it wasn’t a rhyming poem it felt like one. It had to have been the meter of it. Great Job.
Thank you, Hen, Kate and Claudsy – it is a fun form to play with.
Well- better to say fun Work-challenge to deal with. 🙂
I posted this once and it disappeared, so I’ll try again.
La Muerte
Along life’s path
Gauntlets are flung
At our feet, picked up
At our will with communal
Knowledge of possible outcomes.
We look for the exquisite,
A thirst-quenching sip
For parched souls.
Behind facades peered,
Seeking the source of all our needs
Satisfied by momentary passion,
And in a moment’s flushed heat
We cry out well-versed lines
To someone within range who
Might remember us long
After la muerte visits.
I’ll be back later to do comments. Must work on chapbook now. Have fun all. Love this prompt, Walt.
Oh, so true, Claudsy…the danger or trial we knowingly walk into sometimes…I too, used sip!
Oh, yeah…chapbook I was going to do that yesterday…on that note… 🙂
Thanks, Hannah. I’ll finish it tomorrow. We had company tonight and time ran out of my hourglass.
Good luck and good job…another PAD challenge under the belt!! 🙂
Oh, yeah. I’ll get them done today. I’m determined.
claudsy, I’ve returned to read this one a few times…LOVE it!
Aw, thank you, Janet. I’m so glad that you enjoyed it so much.
I love the subtlety of your word-choice, Clauds: “to someone… who MIGHT remember us… ” That’s touching. Reminds me a little of the Dorothy Parker poem that begins “What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why, I have forgotten… “
Aw, thanks, Kate. I’ll need to go back and reread Parker. I haven’t read any of her stuff in ages.
I’m glad you liked it.
Well written, Claudsy. You had me searching for a definition of la muerte. I did not take Spanish, but it is close to the French I did study in high school and college as basic requirements.
Haha, we couldn’t use the word, but there was nothing said about the foreign equivalent. I’m glad you liked it. I did French, too. Sister, Spanish and German.
Love this Claudsy! So well written.
Thank you so much, Michelle. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Gauntlets are flung…… exquisite, A thirst-quenching sip….Behind facades peered,….
These are need replacement words, they say so much.
la muerte (English is hard enough – I will guess ‘the many”) ??
I’m glad you liked it, Marjory. La muerte–Spanish for “The death.” I could have used “leaving” but it wouldn’t have had the impact or that exotic flavor. At least, I don’t think so.
OH! Spanish I know not! 🙂
😀
Well written!
Thanks, Erin.
“…We cry out well-versed lines/To someone within range who/Might remember us long/After…” Powerful!!
Oh, thank you, Henrietta. I’m so happy that you liked it.
<3!!
Melvin’s best
Melvin, what in tarnation did
you all put in this hooch?
It sure ain’t your run-of-the-mill
passion prune juice. No sir.
That stuff is so strong, it could make
the good General himself
fall straight out of his saddle.
I poured a couple of shots for
me and Connie at sundown
and last thing I remember is her
ample pulchritude swimming
before my eyes, as you might say.
I can’t hide it from you, old friend,
I thought I’d done my last rodeo.
But Connie, what a woman.
When I came to, she just looked down
at me on the kitchen floor and laughed:
“That’s strong stuff…Hit me again!”
HA!! This one is great fun, Andrew!! 🙂
Oh my…
I love this one–makes me grin every time I read it!
Oh, Andrew, this is a treat! You need to do a flash fiction from the story behind this poem. It would be a definite winner if the verse is any indicator. Love it!
Thanks! Makes me smile to think what the story might be…
I always love it when that happens. That’s when the prose gets flowing.
Ha ha ha! Thanks for the fun Andrew!
Delightful the way you tell this….. 🙂
You’d Never Know Her Now
Gotta give it to her–kudos
for evening imbibing beginning
at dusk, and concluding at
dawn. Infatuated with any
uncouth youth who saunters
into the bar, daring her with eyes
that flash, a facade of wise guy
painted on his face. And she?
Well, she used to be a bombshell,
breaking hearts all over town.
Ah, but that was thirty years
ago, and booze has dimmed
her deftness, ravaged her
face, and the demise
of her soul is nigh.
Grim indeed…the outcome of imbibing much to long…you’ve captured her well and a cool one to be under the last entry…by chance!? Nice, Sarah!!
Yes.
Thanks a little late, Hannah!
That’s alright!! You’re welcome,Sarah…I think the same happens to me form time to time…it can be easy to miss comments sometimes. 🙂
Vivid indeed! Dang demise!Here’s to the spirit of forever young:)
I’ll imbibe to that!
Powerful and perfect. Wow.
Thanks so much,k8!
So sad and well stated.
Thanks, Sheryl!
Ah, Sara, you’ve done such a well-penned story here and in verse, and so concise. I’d never be able to do that in a million years. Great style. Good job.
Thanks, Claudsy.
You’re welcome.
Brilliant! Sad but vivid picture.
Thanks, Michelle. Glad you liked it.
That is so very well written, Sara, 🙂
Thanks, Marjory!
OK – my comments are going AWOL tonight –
Sara, you’s slipped down below Hannah’ –
Cloudsy, no clue where the first comment for your’s skipped off too!
But will say here (well, MAYBE here] I loved both your poems…..
….now to ‘post’! ( 😀
O
🙂
Thanks. I just found this comment.
Thanks Hannah and Hen! I had fun with this one.
[…] Poetic Bloomings- FRIENDS WITH WORDS – PROMPT # 89 […]
You had me at, “Word play!!” This was fun! :)’s and thank you!
All-Consuming
I was the basis and beginning of your adoration,
but now so suddenly your admiration has passed away;
it’s faded with the inky splendor of darkness
and it leaves me aching and questioning the meaning.
Is this collective sip of life disguised as a test?
Have I put all my hope in you-
buried my talents
with no thoughts of tomorrow?
~
Copyright © Hannah Gosselin and Metaphors and Smiles, 2011-13
~
So, this piece is not true of my life at present but as a teen-fresh in the arena of love-I definitely put all my eggs in one basket, (so-to-speak), head over heels, I’d forget too easily the meaning of and importance of me.
I’m so glad it’s not true for you now!! But I’m sorry it was at one point.😔 Everyone always says that teen infatuation doesn’t last long. I really hope it’s not true in my case.😉
All the best! Thank you for reading, Erin!
No, thank YOU! And you can always count on me to read what you write. ❤
❤ SO sweet!!
“…buried my talents/with no thoughts of tomorrow?” !!!
Thank you, Hen!! ❤
❤ <3!!
Time is such a gracious and wise teacher, huh? That is what makes our wrinkles bearable:) 🙂 …I hope;)
Yes, time makes all the difference in how we perceive things. Thank you, Janet for reading!
I wonder if this scenario isn’t a rite of passage that must be endured in order to survive ’til adulthood, Hannah. Everyone I know has been there, known those feelings of betrayal, whether from a love interest or a best friend who turned out to not be best at all.
You’ve captured that space within our lives that speaks to us of a fading within our own existences and a worry that this is all the world will allow us, regardless of how long we live.
Very well done, my friend. Well done, indeed.
Yes – Hannah, well done.
and as Claudsy says if fits “..rite of passage…’ Like, been there done that.
Thank you so much, Marjory!
Clauds…your comments are so thoughtful…I sit here and ponder this deeply…I agree with you. Thank you so much my friend. ❤
You’re welcome, my friend.
:)!
Takes me back to those years… sigh! Nicely done, Hannah.
I’m glad that it did…means I did something right ha 😉 Really though thank you for reading. 🙂
I apologize you guys…I really thought I’d have more time this week for commenting…I’ll blink and it will be Sunday morning again already…another busy few days. Thank you all who’ve read and commented on this poem!! ❤
Hey, we understand. Don’t worry ’bout it. ❤❤
Hannah – I hope you have kicked the flu out the door! 🙂
OK, folks, prepare for melodrama. I had very few creative ideas, so my poem is about my reaction to today’s challenge (demand)
As I Stare
As I stare at three thesauri
I wonder if today’s demand
will pry the word passion
from my weakening grasp.
As I gulp too many meanings,
not always the run-of-the-mill
ones, is there a danger whatever
mastery I have will expire?
Or will I still be attuned
to the loveliness of language
and the delight in words that
dawned so long ago?
Nothing can camouflage
the stress I feel as I strive
to finish this, but I refuse
the sunset of word joy.
Hee, hee… we can surely be very hard on ourselves sometimes…
Sheryl here! here! We can SO relate to these words. thank-you for spelling them. this really struck me…’is there a danger whatever
mastery I have will expire?
Or will I still be attuned
to the loveliness of language
and the delight in words that
dawned so long ago?’
…and then ‘the sunset of word joy’ Perfect!
I’m so glad some of you related. I usually love word play and did get into the spirit of the prompt, but some days tiredness turns delight into tedium. Janet, I had not thought of this as anything but fulfilling the prompt. I’m glad you liked some of my lines.
I love it. This is lovely and something that many of us probably can relate to on a daily basis for one reason or another. I’m with Janet on this one. The lines of as liquid crystal, flowing through the poem to magnify those feelings of inadequacy we all face from time to time when putting word to paper.
Excellent work, Sheryl.
Nicely done, Sheryl. I especially like the last bit.
“…Nothing can camouflage
the stress I feel as I strive
to finish this, but I refuse
the sunset of word joy.”
Oops, I did not highlight my words. Thy are demand, passion, gulp, run-of-the-mill, mastery, expire, loveliness, dawned, camouflage, and sunset.
my poem is at http://myrandrspace.blogspot.com/2013/01/simply-sunday-scripts-for-peace-freedom.html
LadyinRead, welcome! Very impressive poem. We hope to see more of you here!
Marie Elena
You did a wonderful job, Lady. I’m intrigued about the story behind the verse.
challenge, common,mask,skill, origin
love, night,drink,beauty,death
NO MATTER HOW
The thing about it is this, when confronting your own mortality
There is no more pretense and no light in the darkness to guide you
No matter how talented you may be at using your considerable assets
To hide your feelings, your adoration of the mundane, the everyday
Once you’re forced to stare hard at where you came from
And ultimately, where you’re headed, there will be nothing
Strong enough to knock back, to dull the reality, nothing to quash
That still, soft voice that is getting louder all the time – nothing
*ah – I italicized the words I used in place of the originals but that didn’t transfer over … sigh
“…That still, soft voice that is getting louder all the time…” She Will be heard!
Sharon, beautifully done. The adoration of the mundane – this line speaks volumes.
This is terrific, Sharon. I like this style, as well. Excellent.
Sharon, I love love love your poems! This is so true and so well written. Thank you for sharing it! ❤
Wonderful voice here–I’m particularly fond of poems where I feel the poet is speaking directly to me, and you’ve done that so well. Thank you!
Very nicely done ,Sharon.
neither did the formatting, I see
Doubt the formatting will hold (HOW do you do it, Walt?!), but here goes:
The word without itself
you are the face made for hiding
you are with life constantly. consuming cells and stars, you
create what will be filled with comets and chicken dinners.
life’s one certainty makes anything else an anxious joke.
you are nothing in yourself, everywhere a mind can find you
you are ordinary, everyday,
normative, normal, the center
what all have together
you are the bond that supersedes need, the joint
forming one thing without diminishing the parts
you are sustenance in liquid, and a command
you come to man only with practice, in time
you are insurmountable
a goad, a goal, a test, a trial;
beat you, and you slip away to tease
from ever higher
you are only the shadow of the earth
you are all first things: all things first
ah, well, no biggie. any line not beginning “you” would have been indented
by the way, got a new blog address
I checked the comment to edit it for you, Barbara, but it showed the formatting in the edit box. For some reason it doesn’t translate to the post. W.
I sometimes, when I want to indent – I will put a few periods or dashes at the start of the line. Yes, They ‘show’ but the first word is indented (Am sure this is NOT the way Walk does it.). May be walt will do an In-form Poet form to teach us how to do ‘shapes’ (????)
My favorite part of this is:”you are with life constantly. consuming cells and stars, you create what will be filled with comets and chicken dinners.” I am still struggling to comprehend who the you is. I think I would be superimposing my own meaning to think of it as Christ, the Word, and yet words themselves don’t seem to fit. This poem is still a puzzle to me, which is not a bad thing at all.
It did occur to me that this might be read in that way. I am non-religious, though, and each “you” simply addresses one of the words
Oh, now I get the title, Barbara.
You outdid yourself with this one, Barbara. Depending on who reads it, it takes on many meanings, each equally valid. I do know what you were driving toward, but for me, the fact that it can be so much more as well, makes it even more special.
Terrific job.
TO UNRAVEL A HEART
Fractured rapture
broken hearts
dark mantles veil our simple starts.
We spring defiant when told to stop,
time defying our strident halt.
For this heart, a life entwined –
we so dote. For this eternity
we do devote our end, every
cherished long sip to life behold.
This splendored heart so simple
be our fate, a brush awash
with grace, and upon this newly
crafted dawn I rest my torn and worn
heart for you to unravel.
Words Given: Words Substituted
Challenge: defy, defiant
Skill: craft
drink: sip
common: simple
origin: spring, dawn, start
night: dark
mask: mantle, veil
love: rapture, dote, devote, heart, cherish
beauty: grace, splendour
death: fate, end
a brush awash
with grace, and upon this newly
crafted dawn I rest my torn and worn
heart for you to unravel…goose-bump beautiful!!
I keep reading this one to get all of the layers of meaning. Well done.
Janet snagged my favorite lines, but that’s okay. She was here first. 🙂 And Sheryl has the right of it as well. The layers keep peeling back to disclose a new world of meaning.
Excellent, Misky.
Thank you ladies for your lovely comments. 🙂
This is my first poem for exactly 5 months – I’m going to try being a poet again 🙂
The Silent Devotion of the Sergeant-at-Arms
The ORDEAL had its BEGINNING so long ago,
so long it has become ROUTINE,
his HEART hidden by a VEIL of service
and serenity.
He lays down his cloak that she may pass dry-footed.
He lays down his sword that she may sleep without fear.
Each SUNSET brings the same dream,
the same forlorn, empty hope
vanishing with the dawn
and stoicism
He lays down his sorrows that she may live in trust
He lays down his aspirations that she may rule respected
With cunning ART he ignores her perfume
as he QUAFFS of her RADIANCE.
Dedicated to his Queen until
the BITTER END.
Iain
I enjoyed the repeated phrase “He lays down his…”. Welcome back.
Thank you :-9
Oh, my, what a comeback, Ian!
Yes Iain – so great to see you back and in such fine form …
Iain’s back, and he brought his A game!!
Marie Elena
Love this, Iain… I have missed your voice!!
Simply wonderful, Iain. You haven’t lost your touch. Welcome back, my friend. I, too, favored the phrase “He lays down…”
This is lovely, Iain!
Thank you all for your lovely comments ❤
I have now recorded this poem and it is avaialble as a podcast at
http://www.iainkemppoetry.com 🙂
Iain
Yes, nice to read your words again.
Ohmigosh. That accent makes me swoon. 😉
M.E.
And now you’re making me blush!!! 😛
Here is my offering
challenge, common, mask, skill, origin, love, night, drink, beauty, death
###
The *gorgeous sight* on the dance stage
before my eyes
is a harsh *ordeal*
beyond my *ability*, yet
I have to overcome it
while wearing the *dull* *disguise*
of one seeking *escape of life* –
its boredom and *affection*.
My ability abandons me
*from dusk till dawn*.
I have to sit and *sip* in lonely gulps
what someone brings me,
of *nature* unknown,
just to see my leering mirror reflection
and remember the gorgeous sight on the dance stage.
###
That was great fun!
Mariya – commented on this elsewhere but it bears repeating … such a good poem and the words are sewn seamlessly, so much so, except for the asterisks, I would have forgotten they were there for any special reason …
“Sewn seamlessly” — exactly. Well done, Mariya!
Marie Elena
I also comment elsewhere but I love this poem. It’s very well crafted!
I agree with the others, Mariya. I had images swimming in my mind that painted such a tragic picture; one of loss and pain, as much of identity as of anything else. Excellent use of wording for effect.
I am just reading this before going to bed, so no poem. But I just wanted to say that this prompt is awesome. Great idea.
Among the Many Reasons I Cherish the Rabbits
All ordinary rabbits, from the moments of their birth,
Brave peril and extinction’s frightful face,
Yet as I watch them thrive it’s clear they recognize the worth
Of living in the now with joy and grace.
With deftness born of instinct, they disguise themselves as rocks
Until the moment’s deadliness has gone,
Then frolic in the clover, lap the dew from hollyhocks,
And race each other through the budding dawn.
I wouldn’t be a rabbit, for my life would be too stark
Sans words and books and countless other things.
Still, could I be a rabbit, I should dance across the dark
And hear the silver moonlight when it sings.
Love – cherish
Common – ordinary
Origin – birth
Challenge – brave (verb)
Death – extinction
Beauty – grace
Skill – deftness
Mask – disguise
Drink – lap
Night – dark
(P.S. When I speak, “birth” and “worth” rhyme quite nicely, as do “gone” and “dawn.” If they don’t for you, well, all I can say is that you have my sincere sympathy! ;-D )
Wow. Another impressive write, KatiePie!
Marie Elena
And yes, they rhyme to me too. 😉
Oh, good! And thankee.
There is such a sweetness to this poem…
Kate, you haven’t lost your touch and I’m so glad that you’ve brought it here. I found myself almost humming as I read your lines. The rhyme held for me, no worries there.
This was sweet on a couple of levels without being sad. It read as more fey to me, which is something I’ll read anytime, since it doesn’t come along often.
Thank you both! I’m trying to recapture sweetness and whimsy here, so I’m glad to hear I’m on the right track.
Aw, how cute! Rabbits are adorable! My family has a little black one. We’ve had her for about six or seven years now and she’s still adorable.😊
Thanks, Erin!
Imbibing on Life
She had a knack
for disputing the ordinary,
for finding the light in the darkness,
for turning each new day into a beginning,
for removing the cloak from our eyes
and for imbibing with a passion on the grace
of our own mortality.
I strive to be her.
10 required words in 8 seamless lines. Impressive, Michelle.
Marie Elena
“…for disputing the ordinary,…” 🙂 !!
Such a wondrous short poem, Michelle. Yep, it says plenty in its brevity. Love it.
“I strive to be her… ” She is someone, too, I would like to know. Well done!
Thanks for the comments everyone! Much appreciated. This entire process was a lot of fun! Thank you Walt and Marie for such a brilliant idea!
Geez, you guys. You’re going to make the Beautiful Bloom choices terribly hard again this week.
Not that we’re compaining. 😉
Marie Elena
So here’s another one. I’m loving this game!😄
Morning
*Morning* comes suddenly,
Unable to remain *hidden*,
*Defying* *darkness*,
*Killing* shadows and fears
With her fiery *radiance*;
In her own *artful* way
Coloring the earth beneath
With *liquid* gold and red,
Bringing proof of God’s *devotion*
To we poor *simple* creatures.
Beautiful morning!
FATAL DARE
Her rare allure,
behind the veil,
source of his infatuation.
No ordinary woman,
she had the ability
to consume his every thought.
In darkness, she was consumed.
###
challenge –> dare
common –> ordinary
mask –> veil
skill –> ability
origin –> source
love –> infatuation
night –> darkness
drink –> consume
beauty –> allure
death –> fatality
! ❤ !
[…] by Poetic Bloomings #89: “Friends With Words” (explained below); and posted for Day #66 for the “100 […]
[…] Sunday at Poetic Bloomings there was a list of words to not-use in a piece. I think I’ve gotte…, but even if I haven’t they gave me something to work […]
The Inception of Less
Skinny
a four letter word
held no *allure for her.
An *infatuation she’d held for years
resulting in a broken-heart
and tears.
She developed the *ability to neglect
the image the mirror reflected.
Mounds of flesh
meant to *suppress
*camouflage
protect.
A *familiar darkness
to play hide and seek
hoping just to hide.
The *inception of less crept up on her
hovering,
waiting for the moment to pounce,
to *dare her to change.
It was not *attractiveness
inciting her lust for less.
Less pounds
less flesh,
a smaller self.
It was a desire for more.
More health
more experience,
avoidance of her ultimate *demise.
Skinny still tasted bitter on her lips,
a *cocktail of stale yearning and
hopeless desire.
But, life filled her lungs.
Sweat soaked her path.
And she kissed her old self-image
good-bye.