IN-FORM POET WEDNESDAY – 7/5 TROCHEE

The 7/5 Trochee, created by Andrea Dietrich, consists of 2 or more quatrain stanzas with the following set rules:

Syllable pattern: 7/5/7/5
Rhyme Scheme: a/b/c/b  or  a/b/a/b
Meter:  Trochee

“Trochee” means alternating stressed and unstressed beats in each line.  In the 7/5 Trochee, each line begins and ends with a stressed syllable. So each quatrain (4-line stanza) sounds like this:

DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
DUM da DUM da DUM
DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
DUM da DUM da DUM

This is a simple lyrical little poem, so rhymes will be basic —  nothing fancy. The poem itself should give a description of something of interest to the poet. There is not a set number of quatrains, but a typical 7/5 Trochee would consist of two quatrains, with the second serving to tie up the idea presented in the first stanza

Information from Shadow Poetry: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/75trochee.html

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MARIE ELENA’S ATTEMPT:

Snow Day

School is cancelled!  Snow day rocks!
Grab your skates and sled!
Snowsuits, mittens, woolen socks,
Beanie for your head.
 
Snowflakes falling, large and wet
Snowballs, big and round
Tallest snowmen I’ve seen yet
Icicles abound
 
Build a fort with snow-brick mold
Angels in the snow
Time to come in from the cold
Fireplace aglow
 
Drink hot cocoa by the fire
And the light of moon.
Feeling warmer, gladder, drier –
Snow days end too soon.
 
© Copyright – Marie Elena Good – 2012

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WALT’S EXAMPLE:

PREPARING FOR THE DAY

Christmas Day approaches quick,
I can hardly wait.
santa_2_e0Still, the nice list grows so thick,
and I think that’s great.

Almost time for my big ride,
in this Christmas cause,
with my sack of toys in stride,
I am Santa Claus!

Reindeer chomping at the bit,
packages prepared,
naughty ones  are having fits
they’re a little scared.

‘Tis the season to believe,
youthful hearts take pause,
counting down to Christmas Eve,
I am Santa Claus!

© Copyright – Walter J. Wojtanik 2012

And just this from Carol Stephan:

MEWally

We certainly do!

71 thoughts on “IN-FORM POET WEDNESDAY – 7/5 TROCHEE

  1. Stargazer

    Twinkling, silver, little lights,
    Dancing in the sky,
    Like Marionettes on string;
    Beautiful! Oh my!

    I wish they’d come dance with me,
    Tireless through the night,
    Till the morning sun appears
    And they’re lost to sight.

  2. A Painter’s Poem

    Colors swirl beneath my brush,
    Forming little scenes,
    Attempting to capture life,
    Using any means.

    Shading here, altering there,
    Matching color shade,
    Enjoying God’s creation,
    Nature that He made.

    • Erin, Both great attempts. The 7/5 trochee needs that certain rhythm to flow flawlessly. Think of the first line of the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill. Those seven syllables have a bounce to them, alternating the stressed – unstressed syllables. When writing my attempt I too had gotten off course and was more concerned with syllable count without minding the meter. What can you do to bring those two wonderful pieces up to snuff? Give it a try and see .

      • As an example take your “Painter” poem. The first stanza goes like this:

        Colors swirl beneath my brush,
        Forming little scenes,
        Attempting to capture life,
        Using any means.

        It could go:

        Colors swirl beneath my brush,
        Forming little scenes,
        An attempt to capture life,
        Using any means.

        It does not change your meaning, but does smooth out the beat.

      • Yes — both lovely poems, indeed! But as Walt points out, they are not in Trochee meter. I updated the instruction to include how it should “sound” to the ear when read aloud.

        Marie Elena

        • Walt you’ve put your finger on the vexed question of syllable counting and meter. The only line I could come up with to this prompt was

          “Christmas comes but once a year”

          which I knew would lead some dreadful doggerel, so I abandoned the attempt and got on with some sewing!

    • Marie and Walt, thank you so much for the help! I think I’ve got it now. Tell me what you think.

      Stargazer

      Twinkling, shiny, little lights,
      Dancing in the sky,
      Silver puppets on a string,
      Laughing as they fly!

      Winking, blinking, dancing there,
      Little jewels at play,
      Disappearing one by one
      At the break of day.

      A Painter’s Poem

      Colors swirl beneath my brush,
      Forming little scenes;
      As I try to capture life
      Using any means.

      Adding trimmings here and there,
      Matching color shade,
      God’s green earth is such a joy,
      Nature that he made.

  3. “A Walt Christmas”

    Walt is on the rooftop now!
    mid the blinding snow
    Crashing down the chimney, Pow!
    What a guy to know.

    Thunderous, he poems away,
    Dressed as Santa Claus.
    Belly laugh as he does sway
    (Poems as he goes. )

    Trouble is the snow it fell
    through the chimney deep.
    Disappeared, our hero, swell
    underneath the heap!

    Still, a merry sound is heard
    ‘neath the avalanche.
    ‘Tis the Walter Singing Bird:
    (poems on a branch.)

  4. DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
    DUM da DUM da DUM
    DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
    DUM da DUM da DUM

    Ah, yes, ME, you are a great teacher! When you mentioned Trochaic,
    then my mind is all befuddled. BUT, if you write the meter “out” for me,(4 beats (DUMS) to the line) then I will not fail to get it right! That is what I always have to do (the daDUMs) and had to do it before I wrote my po`em about Walt last night (er, this am…) Same goes for the Shakespearean Sonnet: daDUM, daDUM, daDUM, daDUM, daDUM.

  5. Yours are both terrific, Marie and Walt. I’ll be back with something, though Heaven knows what it’ll be. Today’s one of tasks undone, a late night I’ll see.

  6. If we pronounce “poem” as two syllables (po-em), this Trochee works great. Poetic license. 😉 (from Marie Elena)

    ME, This is the problem with language and meter, as I HEAR it.
    In one line of my poem, I expect you to say “Thunderous, he poems(one syllable) away”.
    Yet in another line (IN THE SAME POEM) I expect you to ‘know’ (to be a mind reader?) to say “Po`ems on a branch” and within the context of the entire poem’s rhythm, you would probably do just that, IF READ ALOUD, right?
    However, another good reason to always read you work out loud before you present it to the public, right? If YOU stumble over your line when read aloud, then you can be sure your reader will do the same.

    • Oh, I’m right there with ya, Jacqueline! And you’re right … “if YOU stumble over your line when read aloud, then you can be sure your reader will do the same.”

      Marie Elena

    • I’m loving this discussion. I Agree with you all about reading aloud. May I also add the benefit of reading eg Shakespearean sonnets and other classic metric poetry aloud so that metre starts to feel as natural as breathing

  7. Brrrrrrr!

    The voices of my errands call.
    They echo in my head.
    The thought of going out at all,
    just fills my heart with dread.

    Solstice ’round the corner waits,
    the raging wind is howling.
    It’s blowing right up through the gates.
    Around my house it’s prowling.

    Coat or jacket, hood or hat,
    it’s hard to make a choice.
    And muttering I’ll take this or that,
    it’s drowning out my voice.

    Wrap around my shoulders,
    cover up my ears.
    The snow seems so much colder than
    when I held fewer years!

    Ellen Knight 12.12.12
    Poetic Bloomings – Trochee

      • Thanks. I’m still very much a newbie to all these different types and styles. but it is exciting seeing how my brain can be sent off on an errand, and come back pretty close to the mark. 😉

        • I would agree with that in some cases, Viv, such as use of slant rhyme or, as in the case of Jacqueline’s poem, an acceptable pronunciation of a word that alters the syllable count. However, Ellen’s clever poem is not in 7/5, and therefore is not a 7/5 Trochee poem, you see. 😉

          Marie Elena

          • I hope you two read my effort – I am not sure if I got it metered right, but if change is needed, I’d like to do a rerun.

          • The poem is mainly iambic.with the occasional trochee. I don’t count syllables, but metric feet. If you want the ultimate guide to this vexed subject, lay your hands on a copy of “The Ode Less Travelled” by Stephen Fry. It’s an excellent read – all Stephen’s examples are amusing – and a reference book that I keep beside my computer and dip into frequently for advice.

  8. Eight

    One is for the shining star
    Over Bethlehem
    Two is for His virgin mom
    And her precious lamb

    Three is for the Trinity
    Father, Son, and Ghost
    Four is for the Angel’s song
    Holy Heav’nly Host

    Five is for the carpenter
    And his virgin wife
    And the wise men from the East
    Searching for the Life

    Six is for the animals
    Eating manger hay
    Seven’s for a place to rest
    On the Sabbath day

    Eight is for the shepherd men
    And the sheep they kept
    And left to hurry on to see
    Where the baby slept

  9. Sorry about this. know the meter’s off, but I have no time to fuss with it right now. I’ll work on that. Meter and I don’t get along well together, but I’m trying.

    Fancy Pants

    Velvet, silken pantaloons,
    Colors flashing wild,
    Clash with rips in blue denim,
    Upon fashion’s stage,

    Calls attention to dual
    Sides of modern girls;
    One soft with secrets held tight,
    In cowboy denim.

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  11. Not my best effort. I’m not a good `stress/unstress’ person.

    Past Midnight

    Phone calls jar in dark of night,
    omens surely mean
    someone gone `fore dawning light
    shattering your dream.

    Older parents thought of first
    nightmare wakes you, heart
    flutters, hands sweat, throat feels thirst.
    `You have reached wrong Art!’

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  13. Dream Bells Ringing
    ( A 7/5 Trochee )

    dreams of bells in sleep be rung
    lost in days and years
    speak to you in poets tongue
    dressed in rabbit ears
    ***
    dreams of bells by candlelight
    golden notes bestrewn
    flew to me the other night
    jangling out of tune
    ***
    dreams of bells a guessing game
    lingo seldom heard
    maybe earning grand acclaim
    humming minus words
    ***
    dreams of bells at Christmas time
    surely means good news
    pockets empty not a dime
    means you’ve paid your dues
    ***
    © ~ Randy Bell ~ 2012

  14. DRAWING Trochee

    Taking paper up with pen,
    capture hidden thought,
    place of joy where I have been.
    never once forgot.

    Wander down a quiet lane,
    river flowing by,
    built I memories I can claim,
    deep in heart now lie.

    Drawing scene upon the page,
    mountains, river’s flow,
    grass and rocks mid winter sage,
    path I’ll always know.

    Finished drawing hung on wall
    takes me back again,
    helps me daily to recall
    special place I’ve been.

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