POETIC BLOOMINGS

POETIC BLOOMINGS is a Phoenix Rising Poetry Guild site established in May 2011 to nurture and inspire the creative spirit.

IN-FORM POET – THE LIMERICK

Today, we lighten the load and offer for kicks and giggles, the Limerick. The nonsensical feel of these ditties remain to touch a heart, a head or funny bone. You know the lay of the land: Five lines. First, second and fifth lines rhyme(A). Lines three and four are also linked (B). The scheme A,A,B,B,A. Let’s play. Get gaudy, bawdy, raucous, nauseous, cautious, rambunctious or thoughtful. Just give this awful rhyme some of your time. You may be surprised by the results!

Marie’s Limerick:

CHICKEN!

Sit down, let me tell you a story
about a young fellow named Lori.
His peers teased and taunted
but Lori, undaunted,
just made them a mean cacciatore.

Walt’s Limericks:

For my daughters:

MELISSA

There once was a girl named Melissa.
And ev’ryone ‘round her would kiss her.
On hand, or on cheek,
maybe once…twice a week.
And when they weren’t near her, they’d miss her.

ANDREA LEA
A four-dimpled girl named Andrea Lea,
had two on her cheeks, and one on her knee.
When asked with suspicion,
the others position
she’d say, “That’s the one you WON’T see”.

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44 thoughts on “IN-FORM POET – THE LIMERICK

  1. Yours are kind and affectionate limericks, Walt and ME. Mine are usually scurrilous or silly – eg

    Silly limerick

    A lady who loved haute cuisine
    refused to use margarine.
    To reduce her cholesterol
    she cooked with pure vitriol
    and died saying merde au régime.

    or

    I’m not in the mood to write poetry
    so I turn to creating in prose
    but of words I am short
    and I’m really distraught
    having no blank verse to propose.

    or

    A fellow was hatching a plot
    to lose his protruberant pot
    ‘You should go on a diet,
    you really must try it’
    said his wife ‘or divorce on the spot’

    A grave limerick

    When the pace of life is too arduous
    and the pains of age are not kind to us
    indolence is too strenuous
    and apathy too vigorous
    lie back, and wait for posthumous.

  2. Because I suspect Marie Elena’s smiling face is behind this form idea,

    Limerick to the Editress

    If I were a metrical rhymer,
    a competent chuckling chimer,
    I’d limerick you
    and Walt(er), too,
    and flash you my beautiful bloomers.

  3. Henreitta Katie Choplin on said:

    Oh, they are all delightful!!!

  4. Some fun limericks!

  5. I have NEVER written a limerick, but after enjoying so many new forms of poetry on PA, I am pushing my fear aside. Marie, Walt,you made me feel so welcome on PA. Thank-you. I would like to continue to learn…and be brave. Here goes…

    Limericks

    Once there was a girl named Janet
    Who would hide behind words like cannot
    But one day she tried
    And fears logic defied
    And awoke on a wonderful planet

    Once there was a would-be poet
    Who was far too frightened to show it
    But poet’s are kind
    And their love, softly blind
    She’s met enough, now, to know it

    Words are still free in recession
    Penned in sweet, care-free confession
    When asked, is it true?
    We reply, it’s up to you
    And return to the poet’s obsession

  6. OK, if Janet will try it for the first time I will too.

    The dog sleeping beside me is snoring,
    Probably not dreaming about whoring.
    We rightly had her fixed
    All thoughts of whoopee nixed,
    To her now the subject is boring.

  7. She’s not bored. Just learned to keep quiet about it.

  8. a blond with a penchant for porridging
    stopped to nosh
    while the B&B hosts were out truffle-foraging.
    later, on her blog,
    Goldie stated:
    Meal beautifully plated;
    found hair on the damask:  discouraging.

  9. Shannon Lockard on said:

    Glad to see I am not the only first-timer. Here’s my attempt.

    A writer of poems and of prose
    with pen and a pad she composed.
    November abused
    and wounded her muse,
    and left her without words, just woes.

  10. There once was a girl named Hannah
    She never was much of a planner
    Her muse fed her words
    She ate them as curd
    And did so with her well taught manners.

    I guess!

    Or maybe…

    There once was a baby named Leland
    His every day was a magical play-land
    His brother was constantly entertaining
    His mother was loving and training
    And his father who will always understand.

    Uuummm…this was not easy.

    I give up for now. I don’t think I can lick the limerick! 😉

    Good job you guys!

  11. Poetic Bloomings on said:

    FANTASTIC FUN, ALL! I needed to come home to these today. Thanks bunches!!

    Marie Elena

  12. I try to amuse when I write,
    In my quest to pen verse that has bite.
    But sometimes my muse
    Lets me down. Yes j’accuse!
    I suspect that it does it for spite

    Fun limericks! I hope that those of you who’ve gotten hooked on writing limericks, will try my weekly LImerick-Off challenges. You can find this week’s Limerick-Off here: Spent Limerick.

  13. Had a hard time keeping up with everything in November. So now I’ll try to get back to Poetic Bloomings.

    There once was a wealthy countess
    Though folks tried, they failed to impress
    She’d boss them around
    Till one night she drowned
    No one in her realm would confess

  14. Don’t Get Me Started

    Says a man to his chatty young wife,
    “Can this chatter continue for life?”
    Though her feelings were hurt
    She was quick to assert
    “You’ve a choice between talk or a knife.”

    Censorship

    In a world when we don’t know who’s reading,
    Should writers be careful of heeding
    Every reader who’s zealous
    And eager to tell us
    That what we feel isn’t good breeding?

  15. Hey, Friends! I made it! I’ve been skulking around the dark edges of this site for a while and couldn’t seem to get in and post or read half the time. I’ve no idea why it worked out this time, but YAY! Love your limericks! Jane

  16. The Challenge

    There once was a challenge, you see
    to write your best poetry
    Some used the site
    for preaching, with might
    what they determined your fate would be.

  17. I’m Thankful

    I’m thankful for the friend I have in you.
    I’m thankful when you step inside my shoe.
    And when I see things your way
    I’m enlightened every day.
    I’m thankful we can share a point of view.

    I’m thankful for the bond we kindly share.
    We both know that we always truly care.
    You are a friend indeed.
    We’ll fulfill every need.
    I’m thankful knowing that you will be there.

  18. Good Boy!

    While taking my dog for a walk
    He suddenly started to talk
    I said, I’m impressed
    He said, Yeah, I guessed
    and wrote his name on the ground with chalk.

    • Henreitta Katie Choplin on said:

      Oh, I Love this!!! For many, many years I had four big dogs (and a horse that thought he was a dog too) that I cared for; we were very special friends and “understood” eachother incredibly well!

  19. Odd Jobs

    I once met a young man named Bob
    who had an incredible job.
    He collected the faces
    from buttons of old campaign races
    and turned them into pricey doorknobs.

  20. OK…I normally avoid limericks. I believe humor can be a tricky thing, and generally, my writing does not lean toward the bawdy. In my mind, both of those things are essential to the limerick. I’ve written two limericks in the past – and neither one measured up to either criteria. However…I decided to “throw in” with an attempt…and the outcome tells me I am still not a “limericist”(?). Nonetheless…here I go:

    BEST LAID PLANS

    I once was a woman with a plan:
    to fall in love with the most handsome man.
    Instead, I’m an old maid
    who never gets laid.
    But at least there’s no waiting for the can!

  21. Deeds

    There was a young woman from Leeds
    who delighted in dirty deeds
    She stole from the poor
    who owned nothing more
    than a packet of sunflower seeds

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